Views under the News - 27 March 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

1. Marriage laws in India not as knotty as in the US.
1. - No wonder! India solemnizes marriage by tying knots;  In US they slip a ring!
2. Jayalalithaa bars Sri Lankan IPL players from Chennai.
1. - Would have been same if ‘Sun Risers’ had been ‘Jay Leavers’!
3. SEBI summons Subrata Roy of Sahara group to get list of assets.
1. - Sahara-Shri told to become Share-Shri.
4. Bilawal Bhutto leaves Pakistan after tiff with Zardari.
1. - How-many, Rub-any, Care !!??!!
5. Italian Foreign Minister resigns over Marines row.
1. - Code of Omertà demands it.
6. French troops shoot, kill 2 Indians in Central African Republic.
1. - Is Laurent Fabius preparing *his* resignation letter?
7. 6 week abortion ban approved by North Dakota Governor.
1. - North Dakota home to largest Downs Syndrome patients: 2040 study.
8. US Supreme Court Justices hint at diverging views on same-sex marriage.
1. - Even before the marriage, there’s a split - hope it doesn’t end in divorce.
9. North Korean military in ‘Combat Posture No. 1’.
1. -  North Korean citizens in Starvation Position No. 9.
10. Rio Olympics stadium indefinitely closed due to roof problems.
1. -  Can’t blame this one on Rio.

(image courtesy santosh mishra / newsyaps.com)

Tags: Giulio Terzi,laurent_fabius,bilawal_bhutto,jayalalithaa,saharasri,subrato_roy,sun-risers

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Views under the News - 26 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

Speaker of Iran Parliament in India to explore communication ties.

-  After Iran-Pak-India Gas Pipeline, one more proposal to blow hot air.

Chopper Scam:  CBI names ex-Air force Chief S.P. Tyagi as suspect.

- Finally they decide to ‘chop’ his wings.

Punjab to set up special courts for NRIs and women.

- Terrorists will be honoured with special memorials - whether NRI or women.

Sri Lanka hopes to engage India before UN rights vote.

- Will treat India like dirt and engage China after the vote.

Nearly 40 people questioned in Hyderabad twin blasts case.

-  If only they had questioned half a dozen before the blasts.

Promote socially relevant uses of technology: President Mukherjee.

- Leave the kickbacks to the middlemen and profits to political son-in-laws.

2G scam accused A. Raja has every right to be heard: T.R. Baalu.

- No doubt!  Question is has he any integrity left to testify?

States should join hands to fight terror: Home Minister Shinde.

- Yeah!  They are doing so, ganging up against terror of Centre: Jaitley.

 

(image courtesy india today)

Tags: nctc,sptyagi,augustawestland

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Views under the News - 18 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

Right to reject essential to eliminate corruption: Anna Hazare.

-  What we actually want is the right to reject your rants.

In jail, Afzal Guru exhorted IM men to stage attacks across India.

- The way Afzal Guru was hanged is a blot on Indian democracy: Fali Nariman.

The way Afzal Guru was hanged is a blot on Indian democracy: Fali Nariman.

- Is that why Rohington Fali Nariman resigned as Solicitor General?

Pendency of suits in courts should be wiped out: PM Manmohan Singh

- Suit against P. Chidambaram’s election pending in court since 2009.

Delay in Justice delivery a major challenge: CJI Altamas Kabir.

- Suit against P. Chidambaram’s election pending in court since 2009.

Home Secretary Theresa May Wants to Deport More Foreign Criminals from UK.

- First deport Lalit Modi of IPL fame, whose passport has been invoked.

Prince Charles and Camilla Test 'James Bond' BMW.

- Does that make Camilla a ‘Bond’ girl?  Guk!.

Tags: altamaskabir,chidambaram,falinariman

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Views under the News - 15 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

Gandhi’s country must set an example by abolishing capital punishment: Justice V.R. Krishna Iyer.

- What about other Gandhi sentiment ‘Women walking without fear at midnight’?

Lawyers not allowed to meet death row convicts.

- Well, they can meet them in Hell, if they wish to.

Clear roadmap required to raise money for the ‘Green Climate Fund’:  Minister Jayanthi Natarajan.

- Hope no one has any roadmaps for 10% kickbacks.

If Afzal Guru had better defence, he may have escaped death: Omar’s National Conference.

- If Afzal Guru had better bombs, your father might not have escaped alive.

Wipe out ‘pendency’ in courts: PM Manmohan Singh.

- Is that why government kept quiet on Helicopter scam for over an year?

10% of all CVs and resumes have falsified claims.

- 10% everywhere !?!

Anonymous hacks, shuts down IIPM website.

- That sure would have shut up Mr. Arindam Chaudhuri.

Key reforms essential to India's development:  Vice-President and RS Chairman H. Ansari.

- Any plans to reform your deputy Chairman P.J. Kurien?

Canadian minister quits over inappropriate lobbying letter.

- Could you say that aloud please!

Singapore in rare anti-immigrant protest.

- There goes the neighbourhood!

Quake rattles Rome.

- First Lightning strike and now Earthquake. Holy Father please reconsider.

(image courtesy Paul Thomas in express.co.uk)

Tags: pjkurien,popebenedictxvi,romequake

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Views under the News - 15 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

Kerala Suryanelli rape case:  Absconding convict arrested, produced in court.

-  For a moment, I thought  P.J. Kurien, went into hiding.

Helicopter scam connected Tyagi brother tried to broker Ayodhya peace.

-  All he wanted was 10% of the Babri Mosque land in return.

Harvard doctors give Kumbh Mela health faciilties a thumbs up.

-  Too bad they don’t train engineers to certify Railway foot bridges.

UN Chief Ban-Ki-moon urges restraint on India and Pakistan.

-  At Indo-Pak border violations, he talks to North Korea; 

   When North Korea explodes Nuke, he talks of Indo-Pak border;

   When Syria burns, he enjoys Gangnam Style - Is this guy real?

Warren Buffet to ink $28 billion deal in Food Industry.

-  No it doesn’t involve horsemeat.

Each Briton could get free RBS shares worth £400.

- They are parroting India’s ‘Direct Cash Transfer’ scheme: PM.

Nike pulls Oscar Pistorius ad campaign.

- Just do it?  Just did it.

Tags: pistorius,rbs,bankimoon

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Views under the News - 15 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

• India needs Rs. 200 bn for Food Security Bill:  Food Minister KV Thomas.
  • Does that include 10% kickbacks or not is the question.
• Ex-IAF Chief’s cousins were bribed by AugustaWestland:  Italian probe.
  • We have written to ‘AugustaWestland’ asking for details: Government.
• Can’t blame former Air Chief S.P. Tyagi in helicopter scam:  Jaswant Singh, former Defence Minister.
  • Uh Oh!  You too Jaswant?
• Law will take its own course on College Elections violence:  Mamata Banerjee.
• Except when it involves cartoonists!
• Stop regressive trend of executions: Amnesty International.
• Please progress to execute an order banning Amnesty International: victims.
• Pact with French Areva for Jaitapur Nuclear plant, not in India’s interest:  Prakash Karat.
• If same deal is signed with Russia, it will become India’s vital interest.
• Our ability to tolerate is going down:  Minister Manish Tiwari.
• Where was this guy when Kapil Sibal was threatening bloggers and tweeters?
• Bribes are necessary part of doing business globally: Berlusconi.
• Do bribes cover bunga-bunga parties?
• SGPC against any Indo-French defence deal in view of human rights violations.
• Gosh!  I guess J.S. Bhindranwale was a champion of human rights.
• Did you have a past with the accused rapist? Minister Vayalar Ravi to women journalist.
• Time to ask whether Vayalar Ravi had any past in murky affair.
• Keith Vaz irks UK women MPs with sexist tweet.
• Both Vayalar Ravi and Vaz have turned into dirty old men.
• Sex attacks on the rise in Egypt’s Tahrir Square: BBC report.
• The reporter hasn’t yet heard of Vayalar Ravi and Keith Vaz.
• French firm Spanghero mislabelled horsemeat.
• They should have ‘mislabelled’ it horseshet.
• Lab rats ‘given’ “sixth-sense” by US researchers.
• M Night Shyamalan’s next movie will have Ratatouille bending Air
• Mahatma Gandhi letter sells for £115,000 at auction in Britain.
• The ‘freedom fighter’ who sold it promised 10% kickbacks.

(image courtesy Mike Peters @ grimmy.com - from 2007)

Tags: keith vaz,vayalar ravi,manish tiwari,augustawestland

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Views under the News - 14 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

• We will ban AugustaWestland-Finmeccanica if bribery charges proved: Defence Minister.
• Wasn’t Westland involved in a similar scandal during Rajiv Gandhi years?
• Sahara: SEBI orders freezing of accounts and seizure of property.
• Perhaps P. Chidambaram should tell SEBI to implement a ‘KYC’ pronto.
• Terror groups in Pakistan vow to revenge Afzal Guru.
• Ready the gallows.  More terrorists are ready for the noose.
• Aadhaar ID will become the lifeline of Aam Aadhmi.
• Suicidal farmers of Maharashtra, Andhra and TN should rejoice.
• All further payments to AugustaWestland put on hold.
• Are you going to repay the bribes back to AugustaWestland?
• Pakistan’s Sind province to be henceforth called ‘Sindh’.
• At least one province has realised living in Pakistan is ‘Hell’.
• China to react harshly towards North Korea.
• Kim Jong-un will not be addressed as ‘Great Successor’ by state media.
• American Airlines and US Airways set to merge.
• With or without Dreamliners?
• BBC not to publish Kate Middleton pregnancy photos, out of decency.
• Where was this decency when Jimmy Savile rained abuse for 21 years?
• Israel admits to holding “Prisoner X” after court order due media & public pressure.
• Israel is the only ‘liberal’ democracy in the Middle East:  Netanyahu in Dec ‘10
• Google Doodle for Valentine’s Day depicts Ferris Wheel.
• Perhaps to show that Love has its ups and downs.

Tags: augustawestland,prisoner-x,google doodle,kate middleton

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Views under the News - 13 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

• Every dawn scares me:  Mother of Rajiv Gandhi assassin.
• Every dawn disappoints us:  patriotic Tamil people.
• India Factory output shrinks by 0.6%.
• Industrialists yet to fully adopt Chidambaram’s advice - KYC.
• Businessmen scared to complain against Tax officials to Ombudsmen.
• The Tax people have fully adopted Chidambaram’s advice - ‘KYC’.
• Antony brought copters Obama rejected as too costly.
• No wonder Obama subsequently won the elections.
• Cruise ship Carnival Triumph is gross, with flooded, overflowing toilets.
• Ahoy there!  Everyone retire to the poop deck!
• Pope Benedict XVI announces resignation:  Report.
• Lightning bolt strikes Vatican’s St. Peter’s Basilica: Report.
• Wrestling tossed out of Olympics.
• Who will I bite from now on: Wrestler Sushil Kumar.

 

 

Tags: antony,obama,chidambaram

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Views under the News - 12 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

• 2G scam: JPC likely to quiz CBI chief over alleged prosecutor- accused taped conversation.
• No, No!  We aren’t talking about ‘Rotten’ Tata and Niira Radia taped conversation.
• 17 from convicted of murder in UAE to reach India today; 16 of them from Punjab.
• Too bad there are only 13 Parliamentary constituencies in Punjab.
• Akhilesh Yadav, Nitish Kumar oppose ‘uniform exclusion’ in Food Security Bill.
• Must be only two guys who boast about keeping people poor.
• Institutional decay over time plaguing intellectual life:  Union Minister Jairam Ramesh.
• That’s the reason we introduced caste based quota in IITs and IIMs.
• Treat women with Respect:  President Pranab Mukherjee.
• Unless they are ‘painted’ and ‘dented’: Abhijeet Mukerhee, son of the President.
• Two days after hanging, intimation letter reaches Afzal Guru’s wife.
• The Govt of India has strictly followed the terrorist ‘protocol’ - inform after incident.
• I-Tax department to act on PAN holders not filing returns.
• Which department should act to provide taxable income to PAN holders?
• Sikhs plan protest during French President visit against Turban ban in France.
• France should be Turban not Urbane
• Pope Benedict XVI to resign on February 28th.
• Guess he chose to spread by ‘word (of abdication)’, the faith he preached.

(image courtesy Pat Oliphant @ gocomics.com)

Tags: pope benedict xvi,jairam ramesh,2G scam,afzal guru

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Views under the News - 11 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

• Tension reduced on Indo-Pak border, but not yet normal: Defence Minister A.K. Antony.
• If we hang more Afzal Gurus and Balwant Singh Rajoanas, tensions will cease, forever.
• Failure of Congress party to blame for 'poor turning to Naxalism':  Mayawati.
• And Taj Corridor is far more lucrative and safer instead of Naxalism.
• 56 IAS, 60 IPS officers shifted in Uttar Pradesh by Akilesh Yadav government.
• Sonia Gandhi's Kumbh visit cancelled due to 'want of co-operation' by UP govt: Report.
• Youngster breaks off with live-in partner of 5 years, charged with rape.
• Union Minister Krishna Tirath backs death sentence for rape: Report.
• 1,500 year old rock bed with carvings unearthed in Chengalpat, TN.
• It was not due to our mining:  Dayanidhi Alagiri, formerly of Olympus Granites.
• LIBOR Rigging:  Chancellor George Osborne orders RBS to pay £300m of fine from bankers' pay.
• It is too early to decide about Stephen Hester's 2013 bonus: RBS Chairman Sir Phillip Hampton.
• Shootings mar pre-Mardi Gras celebrations in New Orleans.
• Too many gun laws in US affect gun-control effects:  Andrew Arulanandam.
• Software that tracks and predicts behaviour from social media created by Raytheon.
• Nope!  The software is *not* named Pre-Cog or Agata;  it is called RIOT.
• Suha Arafat widow of Yasser Arafat's says her marriage was 'a big mistake'.
• Isn’t that a little late, even by Palestinian standards!?!
• Britain to Scotland: lose global clout if you exit UK.
• Braveheart is a movie - not History.
• Japan offers nuclear help to Saudi Arabia to free up oil.
• Saudi request:  No plant should be numbered One or ‘Dai-ichi’.
• Dell computers to be bought back by founder Michael Dell.
• Dell’s new slogan:  Dell.  Purely Mine.

Tags: Raytheon,RBS,Michael Dell,Mayawati,Afzal guru

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Views under the News - 10 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

• Arunachal, Assam to move New Delhi over China dams on Tsangpo/Brahmaputra.
• Movement to reign in efforts to reign in the movements on the River.
• Baba Ramdev welcomes Afzal Guru hanging; demands strict action against terrorists and rapists.
• Exemptions from actions can be considered only for conmen and Tax evaders.
• Manish Tewari asks AP leaders to keep patience on Telengana issue.
• Wish he had told P. Chidambaram to hold his tongue, couple of years back.
• Frequent changes of ruling parties bound to hamper development:  Arjun Munda, former CM of Jharkhand.
• Yeah!  Certainly halted my wealth development at Rs. 4,000 Crores: Madhu Koda, former CM of Jharkhand.
• 26 year old man marries for 8th time in Madhya Pradesh.
• Women helpline in Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh gets calls from Men too!
• West Bengal Advocate General Anindya Mitra resigns in a huff.
• Nope!  His resignation letter doesn’t contain any cartoons or Maoist propaganda.
• ‘Incredibly Important’ Gandhi letter ‘owned’ by a Freedom Fighter to be auctioned off in UK.
• Forget the letter!  Auction off the name of the supposed ‘Freedom Fighter’.
• Yasin Malik goes on hunger strike while visiting Pakistan.
• Guess the rhetoric of Pakistanis is too much even for Yasin Malik.
• Asif Ali Zardari and son moves into new 25 acre home gifted by property tycoon Malik Riaz Hussain.
• No confirmation whether there are interconnected bedrooms for Bilawal and Hina.
• Indians account for 22% of Britain’s ultra-rich club.
• 65 years after Independence, the loot still flows to Britain.
• ISAF on road to victory in Afghanistan:  Gen. John Allen.
• On the road seems to be true.
• Criminal Conspiracy behind Horsemeat Crisis: Owen Paterson, UK environment secretary.
• Does eating horsemeat makes you utter Bullshit: proposed UK research.
• Finance Minister P. Chidambaram for simpler KYC norms to attract small investor.
• That’s exactly what I did with Purti group of Companies: Nitin Gadkari.

Cartoon used in post Chidambaram and Gadkari on KYC

Tags: Yasin Malik,KS Brar,Zardari,P. Chidambaram

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Views under the News - 06 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life. No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

• Srinagar will be part of Pakistan soon: Jamaat-e-Islami.
• Pakistan is already Hell to live in:  Citizens.
• Government to remove imbalances in Higher Education: Prime Minister.
• Yeah!  We are thinking of common syllabus for Literature and Engineering.
• We will do everything for Women’s Safety:  Sheila Dikshit, CM, Delhi.
• The question is When? before or after rape.
• 414 ‘paid news’ incidents detected during Gujarat Assembly Elections: Election Commission.
• It is nothing!  Watch out when Narendra Modi makes a PM bid.
• Madhya Pradesh minister says tribal girls’ safety is their parents’ problem.
• Only the safety of Ministers and politicians is a Police problem.
• Missing kids: SC threatens to arrest 3 chief secretaries.
• Oh!  We should live to see the day.
• Wasn't concerned with 2G policy: Attorney General to JPC.
• My only concern was to cover my own arse.
• Hitchhiker Hero Kai fights ‘Jesus’ with hatchet.
• This news report will be banned in India for hurting religious sentiments.
• Insulting Emir lands 3 Kuwaitis in Jail.
• Wish I had heard of it before amending IT law: Kapil SIbal.
• Libor riggers will be punished: RBS boss Stephen Hester.
• But don’t expect top management to forego our bonuses.
• Ahmadinejad says he is ready to be first Iranian in space.
• World speculates Iranians may launch second monkey into space
• Dell goes private in $24 billion buyout.
• Dell. Purely Mine: Michael Dell.

(image courtesy: mymedicatedlife.blogspot.com)

Tags: Dell,sheila dikshit,narendra modi,ahmadinejad

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Views under the News - 05 February 2013

The comments are probably the (fictitious, imaginary, unexpressed, tongue-in-cheek) subtext, views and events behind the News Reports, and solely intended to bring a smile to the readers. They have no connection to events and characters in real life.  No offence or disrespect of any nature is intended to any person, (and especially to Indians), race, religion, community, caste, profession or sex.
;-)
-----------------------------------

• After winning in Delhi Gurdwara polls, Akalis want to expand in other states.
• Get ready for Bhindranwale memorial in every city.
• Release wrongly jailed Muslim Youth: demands AIMPLB.
• Dancing and Singing is un-Islamic:  Kashmir Grand Mufti.
• States should be allowed to collect Central Taxes:  Mamata Banerjee.
• If you refuse to pay, you are Marxist and will be beaten up.
• Mantralaya fire:  Maharashtra could reconstruct only 10% of files and documents.
• The fire, it seems, has served its purpose.
• Private funds key to make India fly high:  V.K. Saraswat of DRDO.
• Swindling money as in ISRO-Antrix-Devas deal should be allowed for DRDO too!
• CBI frames charges against Kalmadi, Bhanot in CWG scam.
• 28 months later - doesn’t even qualify for the heats!
• Skyfall named the Film of the Year Awards at the London Evening Standard awards.
• The Sky has indeed fallen.
• Bin Laden city - Abbottabad - to build amusement-fun park.
• Balloons in shooting range will NOT resemble Malala’s face.
• Ahmadinejad offers to go to space.
• Isn’t he spaced out enough now?
• Pakistan to woo investors: Report.
• Investors should be ready to set up terrorist factories.
• Our dams will not affect ecology in India: China.
• Unfortunately we cannot say the same for India’s economy.
• Boeing seeks test flights for the grounded 787 Dreamliners.
• Are you going to test with or without the batteries?

 

 

Tags: dreamliner,ahmadinejad

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